By: Shawne Poplar, MA LPC-S Licensed Professional Counselor
People-pleasing is a common tendency that can stem from a variety of factors, such as a desire to be liked, a fear of confrontation, or a need for approval. While it's natural to want to be liked and to avoid conflict, constantly striving to please others can have harmful effects on your mental and physical health, as well as your relationships.
Here are some ways that people-pleasing can be detrimental:
It can lead to stress and anxiety
Life can sometimes feel like this endless game of meeting other people's expectations, right? And let's be real, it's like playing on hard mode, with stress and anxiety waiting at every level. So, here's the thing – you gotta be your own superhero. Set those boundaries like a boss and make sure your needs are right up there on the priority list. Because, in the grand scheme of things, your well-being deserves a front-row seat.
It can compromise your values and beliefs
struggle is real! Constantly bending over backward to keep everyone else happy can make you do this weird dance where your own values and beliefs get lost in the mix. And let's be honest, that road usually leads to a not-so-happy place filled with resentment and a serious lack of authenticity in your relationships. Time to break free from the people-pleasing tango and rediscover your own groove!
It can damage your relationships
We all want to be the cool cat that everyone likes, right? Totally natural. But here's the plot twist – always hustling for those gold stars in the popularity contest might just brew up a potion of resentment. Suddenly, your relationships start doing this funky dance of imbalance. So, here's the tea: keep those communication lines wide open, be real about your needs and desires, and throw in a dash of assertiveness. It's like giving your relationships a VIP pass to the genuine and drama-free zone!
It can negatively impact your self-esteem
Oh, the endless quest for validation! Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. But here's the lowdown – relying too much on others for that gold star can mess with your self-worth game. It's like playing Jenga with your confidence, one block at a time. Time for a plot twist: channel your inner superhero and start building that self-confidence from the inside out. Trust me, the real power move is knowing your worth without needing a round of applause from the peanut gallery!
It can lead to physical health issues
The not-so-pleasant side effects of people-pleasing – stress and anxiety coming at you like uninvited guests. And guess what? They don't just crash the mental party; they're out here wreaking havoc on your physical health too. Time to hit the brakes and prioritize some serious self-care. Managing stress in healthy ways is like giving those unwanted guests the boot and reclaiming your chill. Your mind and body will thank you for it!
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